Breaking Free Read online

  “Because Brett is a member of the team and part of our family. When you place your life in another man’s hands you get pretty close.”

  Her brother had placed his life in this man’s hands and had nearly been killed. Looking into the steady gray gaze she couldn’t level that accusation at him, though the thought bounced around in her head. She didn’t wish Hawk ill. She just wanted her brother well again.

  Part of what he said was true, though. Many of Brett’s letters home held news of Hawk and the other men in his SEAL team. He spoke of them as though they were brothers---especially Hawk.

  “I’ve spoken with your mother about it and she’s agreed, but only under the condition that you agree as well.”

  Her attention swung back to her mother. The financial strain of staying at a motel had been worrying her. But what about the strain of living under the same roof as Hawk? With this sorry ma’am it’s classified crap hanging between them and the attraction she fought to suppress.

  Hawk would probably be embarrassed if he knew. She didn’t want to dwell on the humiliation she’d face if he discovered it. She’d been through that before.

  “You could make sure I don’t overdo my PT. With our training we’re used to pushing ourselves. As I understand it, I can’t do that with a soft tissue injury.”

  “No, you can’t.” More at ease in a professional capacity than a personal one, the tension in her neck and shoulders eased. “If you push too hard before you have a chance to heal, you’ll be back to square one.”

  “Then it’s good I’ll have you there to offer me advice. What do you say, Zoe?”

  How was she supposed to hide her attraction for him, when he seemed determined to draw her out?

  “When you’re accustomed to living alone, even one extra person can be too many, Lieutenant. Perhaps you should give this idea a little more thought. You don’t really know us very well. You’d be taking strangers into your home.”

  “And though your mother has met me before, I’m a stranger to you.”

  She hated the cowardice that had her jumping on any excuse to avoid getting closer to him. “Yes, you are.”

  A smile laced with charm quirked one side of his mouth upward. “Uncle Sam trusts me. Don’t you think you could trust me too?”

  She folded her arms against her waist. “You don’t really expect to get anywhere with that line, do you, Lieutenant?” she asked, her tone dry.

  He chuckled, the sound deep and masculine. “I couldn’t resist. My motives aren’t entirely altruistic. I’ll be at PT once a day. I can adjust my schedule to coincide with the times you and your mother visit with Brett at the hospital. I can’t drive and I know you’ve rented a car. We could ride in together and you could share my car and turn the rental back in. It’ll save me from taking a bus or taxi or calling one of the men for a ride.”

  She took his empty cup, careful not to touch him. “More?”

  ****

  Hawk shook his head. Damn she was stubborn.

  Was she as determined to hold onto her antagonism toward him as she was in denying the magnetic sparks that arced between them? He watched the swing of her long hazelnut ponytail as she went to the garbage can and tossed the cup away. That heavy swath of tawny hair naturally streaked with blond seemed to beckon provocatively “follow me”.

  The trim, tight curve of her hips and buttocks drew his attention. A vision of him cupping her rounded derriere in his hands lanced through his thoughts with the impact of a cruise missile. His mouth went dry and his breathing grew short.

  Why was he leaving himself open to frustration and rejection? She obviously wanted no part of him, and being Brett’s sister, he couldn’t pursue her anyway. Brett would expect him to protect her, not try to coax her into bed. The only reason he’d offered them a place to stay was to look after them. Wasn’t it?

  The slight hitch in her stride didn’t bother him. Brett had told him about the accident that had nearly cost her a leg. She was a fighter, stubborn and strong. He recognized those qualities in her already. But Brett hadn’t said anything about her obvious distrust of men. He hadn’t told him how delicate and lovely she was, either. The slender self-assured young woman who stood before him looked very little like the gangly twelve year old child with freckles across her nose in the photograph Brett carried in his wallet.

  To give her time to think about his offer, he changed the subject. “You’re very good with your niece.”

  A small smile, the first he had seen thus far, peeked out. “She’s been around for a while, so I’ve had a little practice.

  She’s unhappy because she hasn’t been allowed to see Brett. Sharon thinks it would be too upsetting for her even if she could.”

  He read the strain in the faint, bluish shadows beneath her eyes and the lines around her mouth. The numerous hours she spent with her brother at the hospital were already wearing her down.

  “When are you going back to the hospital?””

  “At seven-thirty. They’ll let us stay till nine, but won’t let us stay the night.”

  “You have to rest sometime, Zoe. Brett will need you once he wakes up.”

  If he woke up.

  He could see the words punch through her thoughts as they did his.

  “I’d like to go with you,” he added, drawing her unusual pale blue gaze back up.

  He noticed the dark blue ring around the lighter blue of the iris, the sweep of dark brown lashes, and the unblemished texture of her complexion. Would her skin be as smooth on other parts of her body?

  Wayward parts of his anatomy responded to the thought.

  Hawk cursed beneath his breath. Focus. Complete the mission. Get Zoe and Mrs. Weaver settled in his house and look out for them until Brett recovered and could do it himself. That’s what Cutter would do if something happened to him--if he’d had any family left to look out for. An ache settled beneath his breastbone for a moment. He twisted his thoughts back to the task at hand.

  “I’ll have to drop Mom, Sharon, and Katie Beth off at the motel. Sharon needs to rest and so does Mother.”

  “What about you, Zoe?”

  “I’m doing Okay.”

  The stubborn tilt to her chin brought a smile to his lips. He hadn’t seen much resemblance to Brett until then.

  A squeal and splash from the pool caught her attention. She straightened and looked toward the water.

  “Doc’s in the pool with Katie Beth and Langley’s children. He won’t let anything happen to them,” he said.

  He thought she might be beginning to relax with him when another smile tilted her lips.

  “Katie Beth swims like a fish. She’s also fearless. He may find he’s bitten off more than he can chew.”

  “It must be a family trait. I’ve never seen Brett back off of anything, either. And from what he’s told me, you can hold your own.”

  Her smile died as quickly as it had blossomed and her expression grew shuttered. “I hope you’re right, Lieutenant. Brett’s going to need everything he’s got to come back from this. So will the rest of us. Please excuse me, I’d better check on my sister.’”

  He swore beneath his breath as she limped across the deck and down the steps.

  “How about a beer to drown those flames,” Chief Petty Officer Langley Marks said as he held out a bottle dripping with condensation. His quick grin slid into a smirk. “Don’t take it to heart, Hawk. The lady hasn’t been any more receptive to any of the other men.”

  “It isn’t like that, Lang. She’s Brett’s sister, she’s off limits.”

  Langley’s thick brows rose. “You’d better fill the other men in on that, then. More than one of them has been urging her to test the waters.”

  He experienced a quick twinge of irritation. “And?”

  “She never even got her toes wet.”

  He fought the smile that tugged at his lips. “Good. If just one of them gets involved with her, there’ll be hell to pay when Cutter wakes up.”

  Words of
doubt weren’t voiced, but hung between them. They both tipped their beers upward.

  “I’ve offered them a place to stay until Brett recovers.”

  “Jesus, Hawk.” Langley’s lantern jaw hung open a moment. “I don’t think you have a clue what you’re taking on here.”

  “Probably not, but I’ll get by.” He rolled the half empty bottle between his palms, mindful of mixing alcohol and the pain medication he’d taken. “There’s room for them and I’m not there much.”

  “You will be until that knee heals,” Langley pointed out.

  “I’ll be taking another language class while I’m recovering, and once the swelling goes down, I’ll have PT about an hour a day.”

  “Damn son, don’t you ever relax?”

  Hawk smiled.

  Langley rolled his eyes. “You’ll have to make sure you don’t throw your underwear around, take out the trash after dinner each night, and put the toilet seat down.”

  “If that’s all you do around here, it’s no wonder Trish does so well while you’re gone,” he said.

  Langley grinned. “There are a few other things I take care of that I didn’t mention. If the situation changes between you and Ms. Weaver, I could offer you a few pointers.”

  Hawk took a swallow of beer. He wasn’t interested in a permanent relationship, and Zoe Weaver had permanent written all over her. Permanent meant being there when you were needed, and as long as he was with the Teams he couldn’t be. “It’s not happening. She’s Cutter’s sister. I’m not laying a hand on her. Besides, her mother will be there to chaperone.”

  “I can see how that would put a cramp in your style, which leads us to another problem. If you’re not laying hands on her, you won’t be laying hands on any other female on the premises while they’re staying there.”

  He shrugged. “I can lay hands somewhere else then.”

  Langley grew thoughtful. “You’re really serious about this.”

  “Yeah.”

  “It could be months, Hawk, it could be never.”

  Pain twisted his gut into knots. “So could my knee. It doesn’t hurt anything to keep a positive attitude, to hold onto hope. I figure if they can,” he pointed the neck of the bottle he held in Zoe and her mother’s direction, “I can.”

  “It wasn’t your fault, Hawk. None of us knew Brett was in trouble. If you’re doing this out of some misplaced feelings of guilt---”

  “It was my responsibility to keep track of my men.”

  “You saved his life, man, and damn near got killed doing it. No one could ask any more from you than that.”

  But it didn’t change the fact that Brett was hurt. He viewed the operation as a personal failure, though they had succeeded in destroying the building. The whole point of the mission was to get in and out without shots being fired, without injuries being sustained.

  What had happened to Brett in that building? Who was responsible for his injuries? Until he knew the answer, it would continue to drive him crazy.

  His gaze strayed to Zoe as she sat next to the pool in a lawn chair and watched the children paddling in the water. Doc O’Connor, the corpsman of the team, sat beside her on the concrete. She smiled at something he said then shook her head. The man took her hand and pressed it over his heart. She laughed then withdrew her hand and wagged a finger at him in a negative motion.

  The tension drained from his shoulders and back when she rose to call Katie Beth out of the pool. Keeping Zoe Weaver from becoming involved with one of the team members was going to be a challenge. He could handle it.

  Finding out what had happened to Brett Weaver would prove more difficult. But he’d do it.

  He had to know.

  CHAPTER 2

  Out of the corner of her eye, Zoe caught Hawk’s gaze focused on her as she maneuvered the car through a busy intersection. His presence in the seat next to her bred a hypersensitivity to her driving skills.

  Surreptitiously, she glanced at him. He appeared at ease, his hands resting on his thighs. His right leg encased in a brace looked a mile long as it stretched beneath the dashboard; the left one appeared tan and muscular. His large frame filled the compact’s passenger seat, leaving little space between them. The clean scent of his cologne mixed with the sun block her mother, Sharon, and Katie Beth had smeared on at the pool.

  Katie Beth, having decided to take up with him in a big way, chattered away behind them. “Swan Lake Barbie is the bestest one. She has a beautiful dress.”

  “What about Frogman Barbie? Excuse me, Frog Lady Barbie?” he teased, shifting to look over his shoulder.

  Katie Beth giggled. “There ain’t no Frog Lady Barbie, Hawk.”

  “There isn’t a Frog Lady Barbie,” Clara Weaver corrected quietly. “Ain’t isn’t a word, baby.”

  “Sure it is, Grandma, I just said it,” Katie Beth returned.

  His grin flashed white. Zoe’s stomach flip-flopped.

  “A frogman is a man who swims under water with special tanks on his back filled with air,” he said to Katie Beth.

  “Uncle Brett did that in the swimming pool,” she said.

  “The last time he was home, he gave the neighbor’s two teenage boys a demonstration in the pool,” Clara said. “Katie Beth was fascinated. I can’t believe she still remembers that. It was over a year ago and she wasn’t quite three.”

  “I’m a big girl now, I’m four.” Zoe caught a glimpse of Katie Beth’s curls bouncing with the adamant nod of her head in the rearview mirror.

  “I’m sure you’re going to be a big help to your mama, now that you’re going to have a baby brother or sister.”

  “It’s going to be another girl,” Sharon said from the back seat. “Right now it feels like there may be two in there.”

  “You’ll be more comfortable once you’re home,” he said, his tone soothing.

  “I want to stay but my doctor has suggested I come home. My due date’s only eight weeks away, and he doesn’t want me to take any chances.”

  The strain in Sharon’s voice had her stomach tightening.

  Hawk said, “Brett would want you to do what’s best for the baby. He has the whole team, and your sister and mother, looking out for him. I’ll be around the hospital checking in on him, too. I’m sure your husband wants you home where he can keep an eye on you.”

  Zoe agreed. Since being notified of Brett’s injuries, they’d been on constant red alert. The strain was beginning to get to them all. Hawk’s steady strength and air of command seemed a comfort to her mother and sister. And even she experienced a lessening of the pressure while around him.

  “We can keep you posted on Brett’s progress and you can keep us posted on yours. Turner will call us the minute you go into labor, if we’re still here by then,” her mother said.

  Zoe brushed at the fine strands of hair that had escaped the ponytail holder. She loved her family, but she was eager to get to the hospital to see Brett. They had discussed this before and covering the same ground over and over seemed counterproductive. She could offer her sister only so much reassurance.

  “Brett will understand that you have other responsibilities you have to deal with, Sharon,” she said. “We’ve always understood how his responsibilities have precluded things in the past.”

  “I suppose you’re right,” Sharon agreed.

  “Having a brother in the military, especially a SEAL isn’t easy for anyone’s family,” Hawk said.

  She fastened her attention on maneuvering through the parking lot and avoided glancing in his direction though she was aware of his gaze resting on her.

  Had he recognized the resentment in her tone? Rationalizing that her brother’s job was important and that he loved it didn’t make it any easier. Never knowing where he might be, or how much danger he was in, made it doubly difficult. Fearing he was going to follow in their father’s footsteps, literally, made it impossible.

  The motel, a generic five-story structure with balconies all the way around, squatted in the c
enter of a large parking lot. Because of Katie Beth’s proclivity for adventure, they had opted to take a ground floor room and forego the effort it would take to keep her off the balcony.

  “I’ll be right back,” she said. She exited the vehicle, leaving the engine running and the air conditioning blowing. Katie Beth jumped out behind her grandmother. She grabbed Zoe’s hand and held on like a Chinese finger puzzle.

  Once they were inside the room, she settled Katie before the television to watch cartoons, and then turned to find Sharon in tears.

  “There’ll be time for you to see Brett tomorrow morning before your flight,” she soothed. “Who knows, maybe he’ll wake up tonight and tell you good-bye.”

  “Damn him, I wish he would.” Sharon clung to her for a moment, her pregnant belly snug against Zoe’s flat one.

  “You’re exhausted, Sharon. You need to rest. Mom does, too.” Regret for her earlier impatience pinged away inside her, and she held her sister close. “Mom’s right next door if you need anything. Cuddle Katie Beth and maybe you’ll both sleep a little. I’ll check on you when I get back after visiting hours are over.”

  “All right.” Sharon drew back, her nose and eyes red, her face wet. She reached for a tissue on the nightstand and mopped her face.

  “Call home and talk to Turner,” Zoe suggested. “It will make you feel better to hear his voice.”

  Sharon nodded. “I will.”

  Zoe tapped the adjoining door and poked in her head. Her mother looked pale as she lay across the garish blue flowered spread. Her mascara, smeared from rubbing her eyes, crying, or both, underlined the exhaustion that etched her face.

  “I’ll be back in a while. Do you need me to pick up anything?”

  Clara shook her head. “Give Brett my love.”

  Zoe’s throat ached. She gave a brief nod and closed the door.

  She hastily checked her own sun-worn appearance in the dresser mirror. Tugging loose the elastic loop holding her hair, and giving the heavy strands a quick brushing, she secured it back into a ponytail. Conscious of Hawk waiting in the car, she ignored the rest of her appearance and hastened to join him.